This morning I was speaking with a new mom and dad who have asked me to support them tonight with their newborn of 4 days. As I spoke and made suggestions to Mom on what she should be doing about her baby wanting to breastfeed pretty much every 90 minutes, and what she could be doing to alleviate her engorged breasts, and giving her nutrition suggestions to help with the production of milk and many such typical questions that arise with new Mothers, Dad said to me, what suggestions do you have for me? Adjusting with this new life who seems to have taken over in every way, our lives in just a short few days? As I pondered his question, the first and obvious suggestion was for him to rest as much as he could so that he can continue to support mom when and where she needs. Then I mentioned to him that perhaps a good idea would be for him to take the time to speak to his wife about the birth and share their experiences of the same birth, so that together they can support each other with their feelings.I mentioned to him that birth is an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved and just talking about it with your loved one can make a world of difference to process feelings and understand a bit of it.
Writing it out can be a great idea for both to do and then going over it together can shed a new light on the birth. Simply spending a quiet time together, even just for a few minutes each day to reenforce their love and devotion to each other can be another way to process these feelings. Even just reassuring one another that you are still very much the same two people who fell in love and decided to express that love with giving life to a new baby. Finally to always remember each other even if it is with a gentle silent glance or a deep and strong embrace every day.